Return Home from Europe
Previous episode: Lucy Goes to Monte Carlo Next episode Lucy Meets Bob Hope http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/ChesterCheese.jpg http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/EatingChester.jpg http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/PsychoticMother.jpg http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/CheesyInstruments.jpg Plot Lucy is packing her bags in Nice in preparation to go back home to New York. She wants to bring home a huge 25-pound block of cheese for her mother, as both a souvenir and a thank-you present for watching Little Ricky during the Ricardos' time in Europe. But every extra pound over 66 will cost $2 a pound! Ricky tells Lucy that he refuses to pay extra money to check the hunk of cheese in baggage on the airplane, especially when it's a gift for Lucy's mother, who failed to properly telegram Ricky that he has been asked to perform at the Roxy in just a few days. Not to be deterred, Lucy finds a way around Ricky's orders. She believes that babies ride on planes for free airfare, so she disguises the cheese as an infant wrapping it in a blanket and putting a bonnet on its "head". Ricky is too angry and embarrassed to sit beside Lucy holding the cheese baby, so Lucy gets stuck sitting next to a fellow mother, nosy Evelyn Bigsby. When the flight attendant comes by, she tells Lucy that there's no record of the baby on the flight. Lucy said that she didn't think it mattered, since babies fly for free. She finds out from the flight attendant that babies don't fly free on overseas flights, and that she'll have to pay $30, 10% of the normal $300 airfare. In the middle of the night, Lucy wakes up Ethel and forces her to eat as much of the cheese as they both can. Lucy says she'll hide the leftover cheese somewhere. When she returns to her seat from hiding the cheese, Evelyn Bigsby wakes up to find Lucy laughing to herself and without a baby. When Lucy says the baby was really cheese, Evelyn freaks out, screams, and wakes up everyone on the plane. Lucy already showed signs of being a poor mother earlier in the flight, when she didn't even bring a baby bottle for the long flight, so it's only natural that Evelyn thought she was some psychotic mother who just had killed their baby. When arriving at customs, Evelyn swears that the baby was real, and Lucy and Ricky swear it was cheese. But the customs official won't buy the cheese story without evidence, and the cheese is nowhere to be found. Soon, it's time for Ricky's band to play "Home Sweet Home" for a TV broadcast, and when the musicians go to blow into their instruments, no notes come out. The orchestra finds gooey, melted cheese stuck inside their instruments. The mystery is solved of how the cheese disappeared. Trivia *Frank Nelson and Mary Jane Croft, both I Love Lucy regulars, appear in this episode. It is ironic that they star in the same episode, considering that this is the last time either will play a bit part on the show. The next time they appear in an episode will be in episode #170, the start of their recurring roles as Betty and Ralph Ramsey. *Ricky is determined to play at the Roxy, even for no profit. It is one of his musical dreams. One of Desi Arnaz's first big gigs while starting out as a conga drummer was at the Roxy Theater. *The Lucy writers got the idea for this episode's plot from a scenario that happened one time when Bob Carroll, Jr. was coming home from Europe. Carroll saw a man with a huge 20-pound wheel of foreign cheese. The customs officials chopped open the cheese, because they thought the man was trying to smuggle in jewels by using the cheese as a vessel. *The Desilu prop man had the tricky task of getting all of the gooey cheese out of the rental instruments before returning them! *When Ricky declares, "I'm not the father of that cheese!" it reveals that Lucy has perhaps been unfaithful to Ricky and Chester's true paternity is in question. Gouda grief! *This is the last episode Jess Oppenheimer worked on. He left for NBC after this episode was filmed, due to unresolved power struggles between him and Desi. Film editor Dann Cahn eloquently explains the impact of Jess's absence in season 6 in the following words: "After left, the show changed. Jess had a spark that was missed. A lot of the flavor of the show came from Jess Oppenheimer." The loss of Jess Oppenheimer is what allowed season 6 episodes like "Lucy Meets Orson Welles" and "Little Ricky Gets Stage Fright" to be produced. *This is the last episode in Europe. We don't get to see when the gang visits Spain, Germany or Holland! When Lucy was reading the list of countries that they were going to visit, Madrid and Amsterdam were in the list. We only travel to England, Scotland, France, Switzerland, Italy, and Monaco. Quotes (Lucy is packing up a large amount of souvenirs.) *Lucy: Gee, I hate to leave Europe. Ethel: Me, too. Fred: From the looks of things, you're not leavin' it, you're takin' it with ya! Lucy: Oh, Fred, you can't come home from Europe without buying gifts for your friends. Fred: The test of true friendship does not depend upon buying gifts. Ethel: He ought to know. He's been testing his friends for 20 years. *Lucy: Gee, it'll be wonderful to see Mother and Little Ricky again, won't it, honey? Ricky: Yeah, it'll be wonderful to see Little Ricky again, alright. *Ricky: I may leave you right here in Europe. Lucy: I didn't do anything! Ricky: Your mother did, and she inherits it from you! *Ricky: I'm just tryin' to find out if I can fly home. Lucy: Yeah, you'll make it, Peter Pan. (Lucy has too much luggage and is trying to find out what should go by boat.) *Lucy: Now let's see here, I gotta take these wooden shoes to Marian Van Black, and I gotta take this bottle of My Sin to Mrs. Trumble. I promised her. (Lucy picks up a blanket) Oh! Here's something you can ship. Ricky: That probably weighs all of two ounces! (Lucy wants to bring a 25-pound block of cheese to her mother, but it is too heavy and must go by boat for extra cost.) *Ricky: Lucy, your mother has already cost me a fortune, and I'm not gonna spend one more penny on that big hunk of cheese! Lucy: How can we get off that plane and not have a present for Mother? After all, she stayed with the baby all the time we were gone! Ricky: For the money she's cost me, I could have hired Dr. Spock! (Ricky got up from his airplane seat because he doesn't want to be involved in this scheme.) Lucy: Ricky, sit down! Ricky: I am not the father of that cheese! *Evelyn Bigsby: Is it a girl? Lucy: No. Evelyn: Oh, a boy! Lucy: (uninterested) Alright. *Evelyn: How old is yours? Lucy: Uh, four months. Evelyn: Big baby! How much does he weigh? Lucy: (without thinking) 25 pounds. Evelyn: 25 pounds at four months?! Lucy: Too much? Evelyn: Well, how much did he weigh when he was born? Lucy: Uh, 8 pounds, but he's a big eater. *Evelyn: What's his name? Lucy: Cheddar... Uh, Chester! *Lucy: (to Chester) Do you want the strange lady to see you? You don't? Well, don't worry about it. No, no, it's perfectly alright. No, I'll just tell her, that's all. Fuhgeddabout it! He said, "No." Evelyn: He talks? Lucy: Only the last couple of months. Flight attendant: If you ladies would give me the babies' bottles, I'll heat them. (Evelyn agrees, but Lucy doesn't move.) Flight attendant Lucy: Uh, wouldn't you like me to warm your baby's bottle? Lucy: Oh, well uh, he isn't hungry yet. Flight attendant: Oh, then let me keep it in the refrigerator for you. Lucy: Okay. (Lucy starts to give Chester to flight attendant) Lucy (realizes that she does not have a bottle) Oh, uh, I didn't bring any! Evelyn and Flight attendant in unison: You didn't bring any?! Lucy: Well, I meant to, really, I just forgot. So, just skip it. Evelyn: He can have one of mine. Lucy: Oh no, I wouldn't think of it! Thank you just the same. I'll feed him when we get to New York. Flight attendant: But we don't get there until tomorrow! Lucy: Oh, well, it'll do him good. He's too fat, anyways. *Lucy: Yes, come on, dear, sit here. Ricky: Not while you have THAT! Lucy: He can't stand children. Evelyn: Oh, well, that's a shame! Lucy: Yes, it is, especially when the baby looks exactly like him! *Lucy: (caught drinking formula) He hates to drink alone. *Ethel: Well, it's cheaper to have the cheese be a baby than have the baby be a cheese. *Evelyn: Where's your baby? Lucy: Oh, THAT! Oh, I didn't have a baby! Evelyn: What do you mean you didn't have a baby?! Lucy: I didn't! I didn't have a baby. It was a piece of cheese! *Customs officer: One lady is right, the other's wrong. Lucy: Yeah, well! *Customs officer: Did you actually see the baby's face? Evelyn: I most certainly did. Ricky: Oh, come now! Evelyn: You couldn't miss it. Looked JUST like him! Ricky: What do you mean it looked just like me?! Lucy: You leave him out of that. He had nothing to do with it! *Customs officer: Well, didn't you think this was rather strange behavior? Ricky: For Lucy? No! *Ricky: Where is the cheese? Ethel: We ate it! Customs officer: You and Mrs. Ricardo ate 25 pounds of cheese?! Oh, come now! Fred: Oh, it's possible. I've seen my wife sit down and polish off a whole slice of- Ethel (Interrupts): Oh, shut up! *Lucy: I put it in the trombone- that wasn't bad. But that piccolo! I thought I'd never get it in the piccolo. If you'd only had a tuba in the band, I could've put the whole thing in the tuba! *Ricky: You know somethin', Lucy? Lucy: What? Ricky: Being married to you is not easy. Lucy: No? Ricky: But it sure is a lot of fun.﻿